i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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