gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i would punch a child for taco bell
we made out on top of his cat.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
