i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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