Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
