i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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