He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
