you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sext me about skeletons
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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