Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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