Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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