suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it was like eating out sand paper
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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