If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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