got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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