nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So. Much. Porn.
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