Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
