Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
