capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
