so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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