piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she looked like the before picture.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
