break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I touched a dick in church today
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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