Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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