This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
