I saw his package. It spoke to me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
