Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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