im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
