She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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