I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
