I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
