I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize