I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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