Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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