And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
