The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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