College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
