My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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