Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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