chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize