i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize