But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
