Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
