Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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