If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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