First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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