Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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