just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
