You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
