how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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