I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
