if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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