And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Randomize
