I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
