You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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