left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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