We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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