wrigley field is MILF paradise
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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