he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
