i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
third nipple confirmed
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
