Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
