carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
