There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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